Surfing Fluidity

  How soon is too soon? How quick is too quick? How long is too long before the presence converges into someone’s mere absence? How soon is too soon for memories to fade into random recurring thoughts? How quick is too quick for you to feel empty again? How soon is too soon for the empty to feel satiated? How soon is too soon for the void to deepen and cut you with its hollowness? How long is too long before the silence annoys you with its motionlessness? How soon is too soon for you to force your tears? How lost is too lost for you to lose your way back? How far is too far before the horizon just seems like a crossroad? How quick is it too quick for you to forget the sensation of a burn, for the numbness to exasperate? How soon is too soon for your thoughts to become noisier than sound and tangle into chaotic patterns? How soon is too soon for your tears to dry into wide smiles, for your pain to become a struggling lesson, for your void to become whole again? How long is too long ...

  Why did you let me in when you were never earnest about me? Why did you make me feel loved when you had no intention of loving me? Why did we hold hands sneakily, avoiding stranger’s eyes? Why did you keep me by your side when you never intended to stay? Why did you watch me undress when you were never ready to see the vulnerabilities that lay within? Why did you let me ruffle your curly messy hair each night? When you knew you’d leave all along Why did you lend me your clothes with your smell all over me, just to wash it all away? Why did you cuddle on rainy and cozy days instead of being out in the wild? Why did you sleep on my lap with your hands wrapped around me like lovers protecting each other? When you had no intention of protecting us? Why did we dance together embarrassingly? Just to never dance together ever again? Why did you hold back when I  could feel you longing for more? Why were you so scared? Was it because it was real? Or just one of the many moments you ...